miércoles, 9 de mayo de 2012

Emilio's composition

What can be done to reduce the number of car accidents?



It is a truth universally acknowledged that car accidents is one of the death causes more important in the world. There are car accidents and motorbike accidents too, both are road accidents. Despite this, it can be reduced.

On the one hand people who drive car o motorbike have to be more focused on the road than now, also they must enforce traffic regulations like, do not drink before you are going to drive, respect the security distance or do not exceed the speed limits. A lot of accidents can be reduced if we comply with this rules.

On the other hand , we can say that there are other accident road causes, these are the accidents produced for distractions or stress of people who drive. These causes in some cases can be prevented if people drive quietly and trying to reduced his/her stress.

To sum up we can say that there are a lot of causes to produce road accidents, but we can fight them trying to comply with the security road rules or ending with our problems when we are going to drive.

14 comentarios:

  1. Merche Alcaina Hidalgo10 de mayo de 2012 a las 0:00

    Well, if you refer to car and motorbikes accidents you should have written--> Despite this, THEY can be reduced; another mistake is when you say respect the security...the correct is TO respect... I think that 'comply' with the rules is a mistake but I'm not really sure who say it.
    Despite this, your composition is good and I also agree with you.

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  2. very well this composition I can't found some mistakes so for me is so good.
    What's mean focused?
    Aupa atleti!
    Marco Saz Garcia.

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  3. The text is well organized
    I share the opinion and fluid
    emilio on accidents
    traffic
    rubengo

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  4. Good job, Emilio! This is by far the best composition you've written so far. I think I'm going to give you "8.5". I've found the mistakes in the following parts. I've just hinted them so that your classmates can correct them.

    -the death causes more important (word order and comparative)
    -it can be (Merche has mentioned it)
    -On the one hand people ( punctuation)
    -drive car o motorbike (needs something)
    -do not drink …respect … do not exceed (need a different form of the verb)
    -accident road causes (word order)
    -produced for (different preposition)
    -To sum up we (punctuation)
    -security road rules (word order and different noun instead of "security")

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  5. Your composition is a good one, but you have to work in the things Trini has said before to improve it! This is the way!

    Asensio Argiler Grau

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  6. Claudia Alcaina Espinosa13 de mayo de 2012 a las 16:55

    Emilio your composition is very well in spite of the fact that you have had small mistakes like that it has mentioned Trini but for the rest this one very. I share your opinion with this topic and think that there have to be corrected many mistakes that the persons we commit while we drive to be able to avoid traffic accidents that can finish with us.
    Very good Emii!!

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  7. Well... I have mentioned these mistakes hoping that you would all contribute to their correction... In other words: PLEASE, SUGGEST CORRECTIONS FOR THESE MISTAKES!
    Thanks.

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  8. I think that your composition is very interesting. You have done a correct structure but I have found some mistake as for example "produced for " and I believe that you should have put " produced by ".

    Virginia Belmonte.

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  9. I don't know if this correction is well but I tried it:
    -the death causes more important (word order and comparative) > the death is one of the most important causes
    -it can be (Merche has mentioned it) >they can be reduced
    -On the one hand people ( punctuation)> On the one hand, people
    -drive car o motorbike (needs something)> drive a car or motorbike
    -do not drink …respect … do not exceed (need a different form of the verb) > don't drinking / don't exceeding
    -accident road causes (word order)> road accident causes
    -produced for (different preposition) > produced by
    -To sum up we (punctuation)> to sum up, we
    -security road rules (word order and different noun instead of "security")> road safety rules

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  10. Merche Alcaina Hidalgo13 de mayo de 2012 a las 21:37

    -the death causes more important (word order and comparative)--> the death's causes are the most important
    -it can be (Merche has mentioned it)--> they can be reduced
    -On the one hand people ( punctuation)--> On the one hand,people..
    -drive car o motorbike (needs something)--> dive a car or drive a motorbike
    -do not drink …respect … do not exceed (need a different form of the verb)--> don't have to drink/mustn't exceed
    -accident road causes (word order)--> causes of road accident
    -produced for (different preposition)--> produced by
    -To sum up we (punctuation)--> To sum up, we..
    -security road rules (word order and different noun instead of "security")--> road safety rules

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  11. Good job, girls!
    I've just found another mistake:
    -this rules (concordance)

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  12. Hi Emilio!
    I am Paula Guirao
    I agree with my classmates when they correct your mistakes!
    But good job!!

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  13. I want to say that your composition is good, but it has mistakes. My classmates have comment very good and they have say the mistakes. I haven't found mistakes.

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